I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
