i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
