I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
