Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
