Porn is love you can see.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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