Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Randomize
