i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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