I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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