So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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