K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
