we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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