Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Randomize
