She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
