MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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