Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
someone owes me an orgasm
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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