If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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