Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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