like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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