I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
