Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
