I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
