that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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