I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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