I'm sorry my penis didn't work
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
