I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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