Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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