I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
