Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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