I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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