I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
As shirtless as possible
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
