I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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