you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
