Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
