Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
