I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Randomize
