I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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