she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
