Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
