capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
