It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
