I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
