he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Randomize
