brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
