everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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