You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
