Barsexuality is the new black.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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