I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I am in a vortex of obligation.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
