Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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