I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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