This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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