Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
