remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
