Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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