I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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