i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
