I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You're like the curious george of whores
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
