I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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