I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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