I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
