blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
