ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
