ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
