Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
