is your mom at the bar?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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