god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
