Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize