His apartment number was 69. I had to.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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